It feels to get back into the gym routine again after being sick and out of it. Yesterday I did the 50 mile diabetes bicycle ride. that was awesome. raised a lot of money, did much better than I expected to do after being so sick the week before. It was a lot of fun. I'll have a separate blog with my results on that for the people who donated to check how I did.
mentally Im scattered. I have so much going on, so much to do, still feel like Im chasing the 8 ball to catch up from being sick. but I'm getting there. staying focused now is challenging. planning is gone out the window for the most part, and that's part of the focus problem. another area I need to get back on track.
I feel like all areas of my life are slightly off track right now. I can see the right track, I just need to jump over to it. sounds easy enough. but apparently its a farther jump than it looks.
emotionally I am happy. happy to be healthy again. happy about what I am accomplishing. happy about my relationship... happy about all my relationships actually. love , family, friend.. work.
spiritually also , well nto disconnected actually, I feel connected but in a blurry sort of way. connected like Im no longer battling up stream, but its more of a passive connection rather than intentional, if that makes any sense.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
May 28th day 66
Back to working out as normal. Frustrated that I have slipped backwards as far as I did. then illness took a greater toll on my physical shape than I anticipated. So, I just have to work a little harder to get back on track.
have the big 50 mile ride in a few days. so trying to get back on track with working out, but at the same time, not overdo anything because I don't want to do a 50 miler with sore muscles to start. I'm sure I'll be sore enough the following day.
Very busy day. Im exhausted.
M = drained
E = happy
P = tired
S = I'll get back to that later. total back burner right now. ironic isn't it?
have the big 50 mile ride in a few days. so trying to get back on track with working out, but at the same time, not overdo anything because I don't want to do a 50 miler with sore muscles to start. I'm sure I'll be sore enough the following day.
Very busy day. Im exhausted.
M = drained
E = happy
P = tired
S = I'll get back to that later. total back burner right now. ironic isn't it?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
27 May 2008 - Day 65 - Im back.
Ok. Im back on track. Gonna keep this short. but here's the cliff notes version.
went to florida for one week. only worked out once while there but got plenty of riding in so kept active. Eating was moderately in check, but not great. then went to indiana for a week. worked out once. and did a fair amount of manual labor type work moving brother, etc. ran pretty ragged, not good sleep or eating for that week.
the following week. tuesday, I picked up the nastiest virus I've ever had. Fairly certain I was nailed with viral spiral meningitis with a bad case of strep throat on top of that. went to doc, got misdiagnosed with pneumonia, then got really bad, and the Zpak they prescribed made life a livign hell for about 4 days. finally went back to hospital, tons more tests, got penicillin, and two days later started to get a break in the 105 degree fevers. that basically knocked me out of commission until this Saturday. I've never been so sick in all my life.
Over the weekend still took things slowly. Still got physically tired pretty quickly. Monday started feeling more physically back to normal. Did the mountain bike ride down the mountain, which was a little demanding physically, but not much. A good warm up to get back into the routine.
Tonight I rode 20 miles on the road bike. Felt GREAT! so good to be back in the routine. I still plan to continue the 12 week thing to the end, then I'll probably carry on a couple more weeks to get the full 12 out of the program. Then I'll always continue to work out but I will probably change it up a little to get a more noticeable result.
Looking forward to getting back on track with the meditation, and morning core exercises.
Oh yeah, this weekend, Im still planning to do the 50 mile diabetes ride. After today's 20 miler, Im convinced that I will be fine for the 50 mile race, even after being so sick, I think being in as good of shape as I was in totally helped me recuperate and is what is allowing me the ability to hop right back on the bike and do a ride like that with out having to restart training all over again.
Plus the ride is a benefit ride and I've raised a decent amount of cash, so there is just no way I'm letting a diversion of a nasty virus get in my way. minor hurdle. no big deal.
Out of the 4 test subjects on the transformation program. only one remains strong. well, remains period, but she's not just remaining, she is hanging in there so strong, an inspiration to me, actually. I should be inspiring her, and I think the tables have switched at times and I find myself being inspired by her. So even though the other 3 dropped off, I am just ecstatic that this one has done so well with everything.
M = overwhelmed. trying to catch back up
E = Happy, very happy.
P = So much better. I feel wonderful. It's good to be healthy
S = hmmm, no friggin idea.
went to florida for one week. only worked out once while there but got plenty of riding in so kept active. Eating was moderately in check, but not great. then went to indiana for a week. worked out once. and did a fair amount of manual labor type work moving brother, etc. ran pretty ragged, not good sleep or eating for that week.
the following week. tuesday, I picked up the nastiest virus I've ever had. Fairly certain I was nailed with viral spiral meningitis with a bad case of strep throat on top of that. went to doc, got misdiagnosed with pneumonia, then got really bad, and the Zpak they prescribed made life a livign hell for about 4 days. finally went back to hospital, tons more tests, got penicillin, and two days later started to get a break in the 105 degree fevers. that basically knocked me out of commission until this Saturday. I've never been so sick in all my life.
Over the weekend still took things slowly. Still got physically tired pretty quickly. Monday started feeling more physically back to normal. Did the mountain bike ride down the mountain, which was a little demanding physically, but not much. A good warm up to get back into the routine.
Tonight I rode 20 miles on the road bike. Felt GREAT! so good to be back in the routine. I still plan to continue the 12 week thing to the end, then I'll probably carry on a couple more weeks to get the full 12 out of the program. Then I'll always continue to work out but I will probably change it up a little to get a more noticeable result.
Looking forward to getting back on track with the meditation, and morning core exercises.
Oh yeah, this weekend, Im still planning to do the 50 mile diabetes ride. After today's 20 miler, Im convinced that I will be fine for the 50 mile race, even after being so sick, I think being in as good of shape as I was in totally helped me recuperate and is what is allowing me the ability to hop right back on the bike and do a ride like that with out having to restart training all over again.
Plus the ride is a benefit ride and I've raised a decent amount of cash, so there is just no way I'm letting a diversion of a nasty virus get in my way. minor hurdle. no big deal.
Out of the 4 test subjects on the transformation program. only one remains strong. well, remains period, but she's not just remaining, she is hanging in there so strong, an inspiration to me, actually. I should be inspiring her, and I think the tables have switched at times and I find myself being inspired by her. So even though the other 3 dropped off, I am just ecstatic that this one has done so well with everything.
M = overwhelmed. trying to catch back up
E = Happy, very happy.
P = So much better. I feel wonderful. It's good to be healthy
S = hmmm, no friggin idea.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Day 30 - 6 is for 6 pack
Well I've sorta fallen behind on the blogging...and the meditation...and even, I'm embarrassed to say, the eating got all fuxxed up today to. the only thing on track right now is the work outs. Well, the eating was only today. work has been absolutely nuts the last couple days. I've had a full on spammer attack on one of our servers and it wasnt until today that I figured out how to block the lowest forms of human existence. Here's the irony, they are fucking up the very system by which they feed off of. talk about biting the hand that feeds you. It's a waste of resources, its damaging to many people, both financially and in mere stress alone. And if they continue, they will eventually force all smaller server to shut down out of sheer annoyance and then the only thing that will be left are the large conglomerates who can not only afford to block them, but also afford to chase them. I'd like to start a group of hackers who are talented enough to chase this fuckers down and expose them. So Mentally I've been a little stressed the last 5 days or so.
Emotionally, I'm....hmmm, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm really fucking happy. Even though stressed out a little with work shit, over all I still love what I do. and the atmosphere I do it in, is just great. Here's an example: today, I had 3 meetings, in my sweats and puffy socks, sitting out on the patio in an absolutely perfect day. then to wrap the day up I rode like 8.5 miles of the coolest trails right on the edge of the mountains, with coyotes howling at me and the fresh air and I look up at the mountains and think, "holy shit, I still can't believe I'm here. this is fucking phenomenal!" and I giggle to myself and keep on riding.
Physically - totally rockin. by the 6th week mark I will have the coolest 6 pack I've probably had in a few years, maybe the best since I was wrestling in high school. I wonder if I can have an 8 pack by week 8. hmm. time for a new addition to the dream board. the interesting thing is, its really not that much work at all to do this. the work outs are going even faster now that I have them down, I'm raising the weights finally, seeing results, but its not like I spend a lot of time on this. It really fits so smoothly with the lifestyle. at first it seems like an adjustment, only because its a change in routine. imagine how many people just stay in stupid shit, unhealthy lifestyles, unhappy living arrangements because of such a trivial thing as routine? Its astonishing really.
Spiritually Im on the right path still. and open. and receiving. even though I havent meditated "routinely" like I set out to, I have maintained a pretty constant awareness to that connection. I can only think that a more solid commitment to the meditation will reap more significant rewards.
Emotionally, I'm....hmmm, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm really fucking happy. Even though stressed out a little with work shit, over all I still love what I do. and the atmosphere I do it in, is just great. Here's an example: today, I had 3 meetings, in my sweats and puffy socks, sitting out on the patio in an absolutely perfect day. then to wrap the day up I rode like 8.5 miles of the coolest trails right on the edge of the mountains, with coyotes howling at me and the fresh air and I look up at the mountains and think, "holy shit, I still can't believe I'm here. this is fucking phenomenal!" and I giggle to myself and keep on riding.
Physically - totally rockin. by the 6th week mark I will have the coolest 6 pack I've probably had in a few years, maybe the best since I was wrestling in high school. I wonder if I can have an 8 pack by week 8. hmm. time for a new addition to the dream board. the interesting thing is, its really not that much work at all to do this. the work outs are going even faster now that I have them down, I'm raising the weights finally, seeing results, but its not like I spend a lot of time on this. It really fits so smoothly with the lifestyle. at first it seems like an adjustment, only because its a change in routine. imagine how many people just stay in stupid shit, unhealthy lifestyles, unhappy living arrangements because of such a trivial thing as routine? Its astonishing really.
Spiritually Im on the right path still. and open. and receiving. even though I havent meditated "routinely" like I set out to, I have maintained a pretty constant awareness to that connection. I can only think that a more solid commitment to the meditation will reap more significant rewards.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Day 25
Im feeling sluggish and unmotivated. I was wondering why it was so hard to drag myself out of bed when normally I wake up before the alarm. then I felt the throat thing and I knew I was getting sick.
Work was challenging for a while today as I really just wanted to crawl back into bed. Im struggling with this because I am falling asleep typing. still riding the high from the weekend.
but must go rest.
mentally great
emotionally content
physically ill/weak
spiritually hmmm, no idea.
Work was challenging for a while today as I really just wanted to crawl back into bed. Im struggling with this because I am falling asleep typing. still riding the high from the weekend.
but must go rest.
mentally great
emotionally content
physically ill/weak
spiritually hmmm, no idea.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Day 23
So much has been happening that its been hard to find time to blog, although so much cool shit has been happening I should be blogging about it all.
Since last week, I've hung out with incredible friends, driven my truck thru a river in the bottom of Canyon Tseyi, and been fortunate enough to spend an entire afternoon with a full navajo indian woman. Just incredible stuff. I've taken some incredible photography, seen things that just can't possibly be caught on "film" anywhere close to how beautiful they are in real life. I've learned some truly horrifying things about our country's past and how greed has played such a powerful role in this country's closet skeletons.
I've gotten a little off the workout schedule but maintained activities, like hiking and texturing a wall. Oh yeah, something else I learned, how to spray texture on a wall. which might sound simple enough but take a 30 pound bucket of dry wall mud, and hold that up over your head while moving it to spray a ceiling, and then the walls of a room and you will see how quickly that is an arm and shoulder work out.
I totally meant to meditate while on the trip but some how that just didn't work out. I was also kinda looking forward to trying a meditation with someone to see how that felt with the energy. Which Im sure I will have plenty of other chances to try.
I want to get more into the navajo energy. I think I'd like to see if its possible to speak to an elder or shaman. speaking with donna's grandfather would be an amazing experience.
that just reminded me, when I was planning to come here, I said to my mentor that I would really like to speak with some native indians and see what there is for me in that communication. I've had that experience, now I want more, deeper, interactive communication.
work is crazy right now. struggling with focus for it. which tells me Im not really following my bliss.
m = sharp
e = happy
p = great, strong, healthy
s = very connected this weekend...total reattachment to oneness feeling.
I gotta say, the whole attraction thing is working out rather well. things are happening. there really is something to be said about knowing exactly what you want to experience. which I see that as difficult for a lot of people to buck their own belief system, but it truly is very effective. I'll write about more proof of that as I go.
Since last week, I've hung out with incredible friends, driven my truck thru a river in the bottom of Canyon Tseyi, and been fortunate enough to spend an entire afternoon with a full navajo indian woman. Just incredible stuff. I've taken some incredible photography, seen things that just can't possibly be caught on "film" anywhere close to how beautiful they are in real life. I've learned some truly horrifying things about our country's past and how greed has played such a powerful role in this country's closet skeletons.
I've gotten a little off the workout schedule but maintained activities, like hiking and texturing a wall. Oh yeah, something else I learned, how to spray texture on a wall. which might sound simple enough but take a 30 pound bucket of dry wall mud, and hold that up over your head while moving it to spray a ceiling, and then the walls of a room and you will see how quickly that is an arm and shoulder work out.
I totally meant to meditate while on the trip but some how that just didn't work out. I was also kinda looking forward to trying a meditation with someone to see how that felt with the energy. Which Im sure I will have plenty of other chances to try.
I want to get more into the navajo energy. I think I'd like to see if its possible to speak to an elder or shaman. speaking with donna's grandfather would be an amazing experience.
that just reminded me, when I was planning to come here, I said to my mentor that I would really like to speak with some native indians and see what there is for me in that communication. I've had that experience, now I want more, deeper, interactive communication.
work is crazy right now. struggling with focus for it. which tells me Im not really following my bliss.
m = sharp
e = happy
p = great, strong, healthy
s = very connected this weekend...total reattachment to oneness feeling.
I gotta say, the whole attraction thing is working out rather well. things are happening. there really is something to be said about knowing exactly what you want to experience. which I see that as difficult for a lot of people to buck their own belief system, but it truly is very effective. I'll write about more proof of that as I go.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Day 16
Im getting a greater connection to music. interesting realization. Im connecting more on an emotional level to certain music. I like it.
Today, woke up late, well, not late for anything in particular just later than I normally do. so the morning routine was basically skipped. planning to meditate tonight if I don't talk on the phone too late.
cardio was great, racquet ball with dad again. I got beat up pretty bad tonight, though. ball to the head, ball to the back, elbow to the neck. still won though, but I have a feeling I'll be kinda bruised up tomorrow. noticing slight changes for the better in the look of the body almost daily. which is really unexpected and quite the motivator. I think I might post my first "afters", which will really be "mids" at the half way point and compare that to the start and then to the end to see the progression
mentally Im kinda scattered. I am finding that I want to be in too many boats still. there is just so much shit I want to do. photographs. paintings. dad's shop. parents yard. plan my house, find a lot, deal with the architecture, build the business, more photography, meet people, business network. I'm like serious ADD here. I even tried Adderall, the adult ADD drug. I got a few from a friend and figured I would try it and see if it helped. Maybe I did have a some trouble that could be crutched with a drug. and normally I would not bother or not want to , I still believe that Ritalin is a waste of time and makes kids worse off and doesnt fix the problem. But I did want to see if something gave me the ability to focus severely like the college cram drug it was popular for. So I'm either SOOO ADD that it didn't even catch me. ro it was a useless drug on me. all I did get, was very awake, just like caffeine, and extremely sweaty, like caffeine only worse. this was actually a couple weeks ago, but its coming to mind now because Im really scattered again. plus I have the most amazing 3 people coming to visit me this weekend and we are going on an adventure and I just want to be on the road already. So my consensus on drugs like that now has verifiable proof in addition to my theory. at least proof on myself. caffeine would be better, and less sweaty.
So I am back to trying to meditate to help me stay focused. I guess. and anything else I learn.
spiritually I am...still on the right path. it feels.
Today, woke up late, well, not late for anything in particular just later than I normally do. so the morning routine was basically skipped. planning to meditate tonight if I don't talk on the phone too late.
cardio was great, racquet ball with dad again. I got beat up pretty bad tonight, though. ball to the head, ball to the back, elbow to the neck. still won though, but I have a feeling I'll be kinda bruised up tomorrow. noticing slight changes for the better in the look of the body almost daily. which is really unexpected and quite the motivator. I think I might post my first "afters", which will really be "mids" at the half way point and compare that to the start and then to the end to see the progression
mentally Im kinda scattered. I am finding that I want to be in too many boats still. there is just so much shit I want to do. photographs. paintings. dad's shop. parents yard. plan my house, find a lot, deal with the architecture, build the business, more photography, meet people, business network. I'm like serious ADD here. I even tried Adderall, the adult ADD drug. I got a few from a friend and figured I would try it and see if it helped. Maybe I did have a some trouble that could be crutched with a drug. and normally I would not bother or not want to , I still believe that Ritalin is a waste of time and makes kids worse off and doesnt fix the problem. But I did want to see if something gave me the ability to focus severely like the college cram drug it was popular for. So I'm either SOOO ADD that it didn't even catch me. ro it was a useless drug on me. all I did get, was very awake, just like caffeine, and extremely sweaty, like caffeine only worse. this was actually a couple weeks ago, but its coming to mind now because Im really scattered again. plus I have the most amazing 3 people coming to visit me this weekend and we are going on an adventure and I just want to be on the road already. So my consensus on drugs like that now has verifiable proof in addition to my theory. at least proof on myself. caffeine would be better, and less sweaty.
So I am back to trying to meditate to help me stay focused. I guess. and anything else I learn.
spiritually I am...still on the right path. it feels.
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